


you did it.

by sunflowermask



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:02:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowermask/pseuds/sunflowermask
Summary: karl’s memory is worse and worse by the day. he can’t even remember those closest to him.
Relationships: Karlnap - Relationship
Kudos: 23





	you did it.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh this is really short but im happy with it

Karl flipped through his notebook desperately. There had to be something here. Something he could use. He tore pages from the spine of the book and slammed them against the hardwood. 

DIARY #12  
DIARY #13  
DIARY #15  
DIARY  
DIARY  
DIARY

Fuck. How was there so little here? He couldn’t remember the last time he’d written in the notebook. Was it yesterday? He continued to turn through the pages with urgency he couldn’t contain. An exasperated groan slipped through his mouth and he angrily tore up another page.  
He needed to find—  
What?  
What was it? What was he looking for? He felt panic rising in his stomach. Fuck. What was he looking for? It was on the tip of his tongue. It was something about... red. Something about red. Something that was red? The color red itself?  
Karl couldn’t remember. He stared down at the floor, numb. Pages and writings were scattered around the floor. He wished he hadn’t torn them up. 

A hot tear slid down his face. His gaze was unfocused, staring at the wall. There was nothing here. Nothing at all. Where was he...?  
He knew that, at least. He was in his library. 

Alone.

No one knew where he was. He couldn’t remember telling anyone. Karl was alone. A choked sob rose in his throat, and he slumped over onto the floor. He couldn’t remember anything. Anything at all.

Out of nowhere, he heard footsteps outside and the door creak open. Karl instantly turned off the lights and pressed himself against the corner wall behind a chest, afraid it was someone that could harm him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  
His anxiety overtook him. He turned his face into the wall and tried to make himself as small as possible. It was dark in the room. Karl could see a shadow peering in through the glass of the door.  
Silent tears were rolling swiftly down his face now. Was this it? Was this the end? He didn’t know. He tried to push his feelings down best he could, and he opened his eyes and turned his head an inch to watch the door open.

A man stepped in the room. The hardwood creaked in the silence. Karl’s brain was going so quickly in circles trying to put a name to the face he saw. He thought he would throw up. This was someone who meant something to him. It definitely was. This was someone he cared about. It was still dark, and hard to see. Maybe if the light turned on Karl could get a better glimpse and identify the person. He waited, hoping the man couldn’t see him.

“Karl?”

That voice. Karl didn’t think his mind could get any more overwhelmed. He recognized that voice. He wanted to start talking and explaining himself to this person. It felt so familiar.  
But.  
He didn’t know if this man knew about his memory. Would he understand if Karl told him? Fuck. He couldn’t tell him. What if he didn’t know? Karl was in no state to explain himself now.  
Explain what? He didn’t even know where to start.  
He couldn’t help it, and frankly he didn’t care if the man heard him cry. Another sob escaped Karl’s mouth. 

The lights flickered on. The footsteps got closer and closer until—  
“Hey.” A hand gently touched Karl’s shoulder. He noticeably flinched, and his hands were shaking so badly it made the rest of his body tremble as well.  
Karl looked up tentatively at the man. They seemed to be around the same age. He had dark hair, and a little chin stubble. A white band kept his hair out of his eyes, and tied in the back.  
So many lights were going off in his head about this person, but Karl couldn’t connect a single one to his face. He was so familiar, but so far away. Fuck. Why couldn’t he just remember?

“How long have you been here?” the person asked gently. He sat down next to Karl, and gave him enough space to be alone.  
He had to know about Karl’s memory. He had to.

“I don’t know.” Karl was honest. His voice was so choked up from crying it was barely audible. “Too long.” 

“I think you’ve been here all day. Do you wanna go home? You need some rest.”  
He knew what to do. He wasn’t questioning Karl’s crying. He had to know. The hand on Karl’s shoulder was softly massaging him. He felt his body relax slowly. It was an S name. Karl knew it was. A quick name.  
Fuck. He knew he loved this person. He knew it.

“I want to go home.” 

The man stood up. He reached for Karl’s hand, and helped him to his feet. They started walking out of the library. Karl leaned against him and felt his memories stitching themselves together. He lived with this person. They slept in the same bed. Why couldn’t he think of his name? 

“Hey. Are you okay? You keep taking really fast breaths over and over. You wanna take a break?”  
Karl stopped walking. He had just stopped crying, but there were tears burning the back of his throat again. He felt his legs getting wobbly and his balance started to become unstable. He sat down and put his head on his knees. 

“Karl?” The person kneeled down next to him and looked into his eyes. “Karl, talk to me. What’s going on? How bad is it?”

He did know. He knew. And he knew where Karl’s library was. He knew about things. Could Karl be honest with him? He stared at the ground.  
“I know I love you. I know I live with you, and we share a bed. And I know I can trust you,” he started slowly, glancing up at the man. “But—“ he broke off.

“But what?” 

He didn’t sound angry. He didn’t sound condescending. He wasn’t annoyed. He was just easing Karl onto the conversation. Karl knew in his soul just how much he loved this person. He felt it. He felt it running so deeply within him that even thought he couldn’t remember the man’s name, he knew that this was his person. 

“I can’t remember your name!” he burst out, all his tears coming with it. Deep, choked sobs rung out through the clearing. Karl knew he looked like a child throwing a tantrum. But he needed to let his emotions out. “A-and, I know you probably think I’m stupid, and you think I’m an i-idiot, but I remember every emotion I have for you. And I know I can’t forget that. And I s-saw your face and knew you were mine when you found me, even if it took me a few m-moments. And I hope you don’t hate me, and if you do it’s okay, I can’t remember anything, Sapnap. I can’t remember a single thing. What’s wrong with me?” He put his head in his hands and trembled, both with anxiety from his memory loss and fear for what the person was going to say next.

“Hey, hey. Come here. Come here, Karl,” the other person said gently. He pulled Karl into his arms and held him while he cried. “You just got it, love. You remembered my name. All by yourself.” 

Karl leaned into the person’s chest and felt his breathing start to regulate. “Sapnap,” he whispered.

His boyfriend nodded. “That’s right.” He rubbed Karl’s back and cradled him closer. “I’m here. And I would never, ever hate you. Or think you’re stupid. Ever. Okay? And there is nothing wrong with you. You are absolutely perfect.”

Slowly, the tears stopped falling down Karl’s cheeks, and his breathing returned to normal.  
As Sapnap hummed and held Karl in his arms, the sun started to set. The two of them sat watching it, without exchanging many words. Karl’s anxieties slowly melted away as he watched the sun sink lower and lower in the sky. He was safe. He was safe with the person he loved the most. 

Maybe he didn’t remember what he had been looking for in the library. Maybe he would never remember it.

But for the first time, it didn’t matter.


End file.
